These films have been commercially successful. These films are readily available on the internet – free of cost! These films are also free of asking permission from the women, before the male characters start to think of them as their own, because cis male entitlement is not something I made up this morning 🙂
(1) WHEN WE FIRST MET : All he needs is a second chance to be her first
In Netflix’s new romantic comedy When We First Met, lead male character Noah Ashby travels back in time repeatedly to a night he met Avery Martin to persuade her to fall him love with him. Not once does he ask her if she even likes him or not.
Assuming that she does, because how could she possibly have a drink with him or laugh with him, Noah does everything in his power to get to sleep with Avery.
What should out rightly be called entitlement is shown to be hopelessly romantic – as Noah’s close up shots, with a tear almost about to run down, is supposed to make the viewer feel sorry for him. But, there is not one single moment where Avery’s discomfort or the fact that she is clearly NOT in love with him, is given any importance.
The very first night that Noah meets Avery, she makes it clear how she thinks they are just friends. She hugs him and says, “It feels so nice to have a guy friend.”
Noah absolutely can not get over the fact that she “hugged” him as a friend and doesn’t see him as a potential lover. From ruining her wedding day to manipulating her to think he is perfect, Noah’s character does everything except understanding Avery.
In the end, Noah does realize that he needs to let Avery go, but that is even more problematic given it was HE who got to decide and not her. Patriarchy much?
(2) LOVE ACTUALLY – the creepy love card dude
A multi story film, Love actually, is touted to be one of the most romantic films of all time.
Specially, the story of Juliet (Keira Knightly), who is in love with Peter (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and is about to get married to him. Twist – Peter’s best friend Mark (Andrew Lincoln) is head over heels in love with her, as well. Well, she doesn’t know and our man here HAS to make it a point to tell her, even though it means invading her private space.
Later in the film, there is a scene involving Mark standing outside Juliet’s and Peter’s house with giant notecards. He is there to declare his love for her while his best friend, and her husband, is inside the house watching TV.
One card says, “To me you are perfect”. Another card says, “My wasted heart will forever love you, until you look like this *image of a skeleton*” Does he mean he is going to stalk her for the rest of her days?
The fact that Mark does not have to think twice before heading to a married woman’s house and professing his love reeks of entitlement.
If a woman had done the exact same thing to a married man, she would have been called ‘crazy’, ‘creepy’, or a ‘home wrecker’. But as soon as a man does it, it is nothing but romantic.
(3) TRON:LEGACY – “profoundly naive”
Highly popular science fiction film, TRON: Legacy, made $400 million at the box office.
It introduces the character of Quorra, played by Olivia Wilde, who is an isomorphic algorithm or iso. Basically, she is a computer program in the shape of a woman. When the time comes to describe her, the creator says, “Profoundly naive, unimaginably wise.“
It sounds like a description of a child. Well, that is exactly how Tron:Legacy portrays Quorra. She has the mind of a naive, yet highly skilled child BUT in the body of a mature, sexualized woman.
It does not sound too far from a very common male fantasy that we often see in films. “Too smart” is not what someone wants in a woman. Innocence is what usually makers her desirable.
Youtuber ‘Pop Culture Detective’ calls this trend of science fiction convention where female characters with childlike innocence are put in sexualised women bodies, ‘Born Sexy Yesterday.’ He explains how it is done to cover the male insecurities in the video below:
In Tron:Legacy, the male character feels attracted towards her, specially because she is so “naive”, and he does not have to woo her or ask her permission before expressing his feelings.
(500) DAYS OF SUMMER: does no mean no?
The basic plotline for (500) Days of Summer is that Tom is a romantic and is looking for his other half. When Summer starts to work at the same greeting card shop Tom works at, Tom falls in love with her.
The only ‘issue’ – Summer does not want to be anyone’s girlfriend.
Summer explains in the beginning how she just wants to be her own person, live her life and has no plans to be anyone’s anything. That is quickly lost among Tom’s various attempts to solidify his relationship with Summer. A relationship that exists only in his head.
Because of her aversions to relationships, Summer is often projected to be “damaged”. She is also called “bitch” or “whore” at various different points in the film.
The fact that Summer’s ownership of her own life is shown to be of much less importance than what Tom wants for or of her is deeply patriarchal.
Later in the film, Tom punches a man who was hitting on Summer at a bar. Summer gets upset and reinforces the fact that she is not his girlfriend, and he does not have to defend her. To this, Tom loses his cool, and says, “You’re not the only one that gets a say in this. I do too. And I say we’re a couple, goddamnit.” It is like he didn’t even hear what she said seconds ago.
Summer is an object Tom is infatuated with and wants at any cost. Her freedom to live any kind of life she wants vanishes into thin air, and she is a “bitch” for not giving love a chance.
What Tom suffers from is Scopophilia. According to Freud, it is associated “ with taking other people as objects, subjecting them to a controlling and curious gaze”. Sadly, (500) Days of Summer is not the only film based on male gaze.
IMPACT OF SUCH PLOTLINES
Most rom coms reinforce the existing gender stereotypes and keep the conversation from growing. The fact that a girl is “not like other girls” if she has too many opinions or does not like the idea of relationships, automatically puts her in a plot where her prince charming will change these things for her.
Men, on the other hand, are shown with restlessness and doubt, all of which “she” is the remedy of. Again, “she” is another plot pusher for the male character to grow and nothing more.
How often do we see films where a female character’s problems are analysed deeply or even a scene where she is seen talking to herself logically? Not many, a simple Bechdel Test can prove that.
She is often this mysterious character that the man has to solve. Either she is a computer chip in the body of a woman, a prize to be won, or worse, not even from this world (Enchanted, 2007).
Films often blur the line between love and violence as they normalise stalking and manipulation. For example, Hitch (Will Smith), in the movie Hitch, plays a “Love Doctor” – someone who helps other men to woo women they are interested in. Consider how he introduces himself :
No woman wakes up saying, “God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today.” Now, she might say, “This is a really bad time for me.” Or something like, “I just need some space.” Or my personal favorite: “I’m really into my career right now.” You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? Because she’s lying to you, that’s why. You understand me? Lying. It’s not a bad time for her. She doesn’t need any space.
“She is lying to you” if she is saying she needs space. Women are ‘solved’ by men who can not do even do their laundry. Not only do these films dumb down female characters, they also push the idea that they like being told what to do.
Films where “no” means “yes” or where “no” will be changed to a “yes” with repeated attempts, go on to push the agenda that “real men do not give up” and that real men preserver in their atempts to convince women they like them.
The successful ending is often not what the woman wants, but when she is in the arms of the man, to make him happy.
Lights, Camera, Patriarchy 